Go 5
Name: Dave (aka Nugget, see height below)
Age: 30
Height: 5′10 (Who’s desperate? —–> This girl)
Deserving of special mention: I presume he is of the rainbow lovin’ variety.
Employer: Self. Consulting. (side note: from past dating experience - consultants, in addition to doctors and engaged men - are off the table). PS: He is going to cure global poverty & the HIV. I know it is probs really unapprop to laugh while someone is talking about the hivvie, but I was already thinking about today’s write-up and it made me simply giddy.
Digs: Chelsea (rainbow shout-out #2).
Bar Locale: Chelsea (shout-out #3). Sangria and tapas. I passed on food (shocker) as I didn’t want to stay there any longer than necessary. Food drags these things out.
Alcohol units consumed: 1.5
Water units consumed: 6 (refer to aforementioned inebriation incident in “Go 3″)
Time expended: 1 hour
Overall assessment: Dude is quite pretentious for a stature-shafted homosexual. He meets beautiful women “ALL the time” (!) but needs to search online as he will only date “fair skinned, light eyed, dark haired, fit girls with narrow shoulders.” (serious - word for word). He continued, “The problem with the Internet is that all of the women are either fat or crazy, or 50% fat and 50% crazy.” This was helpful as to distract myself from laughing at him I tried to do math in my head (creates a serious look) about what my stats were. I would say 60% fat, 40% crazy. At one point I stopped listening and all I had to contribute to the conversation was “drag queens don’t like me.” I think at that time we were in actuality discussing Japan as a model for curing poverty.
Additional commentary: Kinda wished he asked me to define my type: 6′ and into members of the opposite sex. Also, probs would have been funny to mention that just the other day a friend told me I could never move to San Fran (my next determined move) as I would both “freeze my nips off” and “hate how they treat the poverty-stricken like humans.”
