Go 9
Name: Kyle
Age: 31
Height: 5’10 – Disregarded my Nugget avoidance policy due to his initial email, “So how important to you is that 6’ height requirement? I’m only 5’10 but I suppose I could get myself a pair of platform shoes if that would make a difference.” Acknowledgement of the problem is noble and bone-throw-worthy. Also in times of height deficiency, dimples may supplement the absentee inches.*
*Exception only applicable in summer during flip flop & flats season.
A brief note on mobile accessibility: I definitely vomited right before my Nugget part deux date.** From this lesson I learned it is clutch to have digits to cancel last minute. However, in a glorious recall of days of my youth I remembered how I could shotgun alcopops after vomiting in club bathrooms (“to get the taste out!”) and how I am still super at sucking it up in the name of socialization. Plus, vomiting is pretty glorious (when due to non-knocked-upedness) as it facilitates room internally to consume copious quantities of wine.
**Note: Nausea not height related.
A brief note on under apparel: When selecting a bra to wear with a cotton-esque dress, don’t go hard core pattern (see image).
Halfway to my destination I looked down at my B+/C- array to discover I was rocking a Madonna circa the 1990 Blonde Ambition tour (see image).
A brief note on awareness: Defi zipped right past Kyle en route to the bar as was well absorbed in the Madonna-ness of my rack. He witnessed my complete & total miss. Probs was thinking check out the chick checking out her tigs..I hope that’s my online order!
Bar Locale: East Village - a place called Wine Bar (generic, yet fantastic - I oft times never recall the names of bars frequented). First attempt at El Vino denied due to crowding (it’s the ’new’ Bar Jamon).
Time Expended: 2 hours
Alcohol units consumed: 2 (for me), 3 (for Nugget deux). I stopped after 2, as post-inadvertent-purge the booze went straight to my head and I knew that in the progression from 2 to 3 drinks my topics of tale would switch from work and family to that time I made out with 17 guys in one hour on a dare. And we work towards that.
Overall assessment: Similar to Pete, dude was too nice and found everything I said to be fantastic. I need to be put in my place, otherwise I become an incorrigible assclown and begin to make things up simply as I know I won’t be called out on it.
